I’d love to say I’m starting a new chapter in my life, as cliche as that sounds. However, we haven’t actually “started” anything yet. Well, other than starting a new blog.
Adoption is a long, scary, strange, exciting process. We are about to embark on our adoption journey. So this is the prologue to that journey. These are my pre-thoughts and early fears. I know that we have family and friends who are curious about the process but don’t know what to ask, or what we are comfortable explaining right now. Really, I’m open to explaining just about anything that I have the answers to. This blog can serve as a vessel for that.
I’ve been encouraged by friends and family to write a blog about this process, but I’ve put it off for a while. I was trying to think of why I might have been afraid to begin writing my feelings (considering writing is my thing), and I came up with the following list of reasons:
- For one thing, blogs online are very very public. I’m concerned that somehow a birthmom would find my blog, connect it to us, and have less than positive feelings about me based on my honest concerns and thoughts.
- Writing so publicly could prevent me from being honest. I’ve written blogs before that didn’t feel like genuine representations of myself because my blog in college was a little too genuine and I ended up offending people. I have a hard time finding the gray between genuineness and an overly censored facade.
- I’m not good at committing to writing online. I would feel awful developing a decent following (fingers crossed!) and then dropping the blog due to lack of original ideas or discouragement in the adoption process.
For those reasons, I’ve decided to start this blog off differently with a list of rules written for myself geared towards blissful bloggy success.
Rule #1: I will maintain a level of privacy for myself and my family. I will be genuine and forthcoming with my thoughts, feelings, and experiences, but I will not reveal personal information. I will post the occasional adorable picture of my adorable son, but I will not reveal his name on here. This eases my fears about future birthmom finding our blog and feeling hurt, angry, or offended. As unlikely as that may be.
Rule #2: I will use this blog as a positive vessel to carry my thoughts and worries away from my somewhat obsessive mind. It will serve as a vehicle into which I can pour all of my concerns, worries, fears, hopes, etc. regarding not only adoption but also parenting, teaching, marriage, etc. Perhaps keeping that mantra in mind will help me from putting on a happy face for all of my readers all the time. I’ve never felt proud of myself when I look back on past (failed) blogs that seem too squeaky, shiny and fake.
Rule #3: I will write at least three times a week. I won’t set a strict schedule for myself as far as specific days of the week, but I will commit to writing at least three out of every seven days. I may write more than that, but it feels like something that I can accomplish from the get-go that doesn’t feel too overwhelming.
Rule #4: I won’t box myself in when it comes to my blog focus. I’ve read all of the blog tips that say your blog needs to be specifically focused, and while I agree, I also don’t like being fenced in. Creativity thrives with limitless boundaries, and this blog is a creative outlet for me right now. I love to quilt, I love to scrapbook, I’m a stay at home mom, I’m a breastfeeding advocate, I plan on homeschooling (starting soon!), I love to cook, I choose to live simply and take pride in my frugality, I’m a Christian, I’m a reader, a writer, and I am about to embark on an adoption journey that will hopefully lead us to our second child. My life is multi-layered, and my blog will be also.
Rule #5: I will focus (not all the time, but it’ll be a topic) on part of the reason we’ve been led to adoption. I knew in my heart years before I even met my husband that God was calling me to adopt in my future, but the reason became clear after I suffered from Hyperemesis Gravidarum. I want to focus on this topic because it’s an unconventional road to adoption. I often feel isolated from other adoptive parents, because they (God bless them) have landed on this road because of the pain of infertility. I’m not infertile. But having my baby nearly killed me. I don’t belong in the world of healthy fertile women, and I don’t belong in the world of the lost infertile women who yearn for a baby. So this blog is for all of those in the nether along with me.
I look forward so much to sharing my thoughts and feelings with all of you. Thank you for reading what I have to say…Words only have meaning when there’s someone out there who cares to hear them.
-Kat
Love Makes A Family {by mommyponders} 
Kat,
I’m thrilled that you decided to dive in and start blogging! I know your blog can serve as a valuable resource for families who share your same sense of purpose and who may have also dealt with HG. WordPress has some awesome resources for getting started and getting people reading your blog! Definitely check those out. I’m here to cheer you on!
–PA
Thanks so much for your support!! My mom and others have encouraged me to write a blog describing our journey (through HG and beyond), but really it was your encouragement that did it. I guess my thinking was “Of course my family would encourage me to write!!” But when someone else did, it made me think that maybe I actually have a story to tell. I’m glad I’m not going it alone. Blogging can be a real connection to the outside world. Thank you for the encouragement, and for the inspiration of your amazing blog.
How great to have another HG Blogger on the block. I have always felt the call to adopt and after my first HG pregnancy we really felt that was clearly all calling. But after my last HG pregnancy (which you can read about on my blog (it ended in termination) I don’t feel sure about anything. About adopting, trying for another, or just trying to be content with my two babies.
It will be great to read this process for you, how you’ve come to some of your decisions and the steps you are taking.
I’ve done a lot of the adoption research already and have met with and talked to different people, but it does not feel right yet, so we are putting it off for now, with the hopes that we will be lead naturally in the right direction.
Both my HG pregnancies nearly killed me, the last one in particular. And yet I certainly don’t struggle with infertility (the exact opposite) So I really relate when you say we are the people in between, sometimes I really think the HG experience is so unique and can’t be boxed in to other experiences at all, it is so good to see others out there and feel supported and understood