We chose! Right after I posted this entry, I got an email from the agency with the gum-smacking receptionist saying they’ve changed their program and their fees and would I like more information? I said yes… But I just don’t know. Honestly, I really don’t have a great impression of this woman. She takes FOREVER returning my emails and offers no explanation why, her receptionist was rude and it appeared very difficult for her to rub her two still-existing brain cells together to give me a decent answer for an important question. And then when this woman emailed me, she said, “I’d be more than happy to email or mail you our new program information so you and your husband can look it over.” I immediately shot back, “Yes, please email me.” She wrote back and said, “No, I’d prefer to mail it.” Um.. Ok. Then don’t offer to email it! These inconsistencies just make me nervous thinking about how high-intensity adoption gets when you’re down to birth day and placement day. I don’t need her flaking on me or forgetting something she promised me or our birthmother mid-day, you know?
I waited ALL DAY to hear from Agency A, and never did. Finally at 5:30 the phone rang and it was her. She was calling me from home so we’d actually have time to talk. I liked that right away. I told her that I just wanted to set up a time for a teleconference where Travis could be present to at least listen in. She started going through her calendar and then said, “Of course, if he’s there now, we could do it right now. I’m free.” He was, so we did.
She didn’t mind at all my list with nearly 20 very specific questions. She actually seemed encouraged by it and by my knowledge of state adoption laws. She definitely reassured me that she knows what she’s doing. They may be new to the adoption scene but she isn’t. She seemed honest and frank with me. She said that if we open ourselves for Hispanic babies (as we were planning to) then our wait time will most likely go down significantly. They keep a VERY small pool of clients waiting for matches at a time, so we aren’t lost in a sea of people. She said she checks in with her families at least once a month so they don’t feel like they were forgotten.
Since we already paid for our homestudy and 2 post placement visits, all we have to do for admittance into their program is sign the service initiation agreement and have it notarized. That saves us $200 from applying at the other agencies. As soon as our homestudy is approved and we pay the next installment, we’re considered an active family in waiting. I’m hoping to be actively waiting by July.
There are no training sessions or orientations (last night’s talk was considered our orientation) or seminars that we have to attend out of town. They like for their families to be well-versed and knowledgeable in the world of adoption, so they do their training online. I’m SO glad we don’t have to leave town until the baby is born. Frankly, I can handle leaving LB overnight once or twice, but one place wanted us to go 7 hours to meet them, then 7 hours for 4 separate seminars throughout the year. Then again when the baby is born, and again at finalization. That’s too much for mommy. Sorry. He’d be fine, I’m sure, but I wouldn’t be!
So here we are! We just have to sign that service initiation agreement form and send it in to them and we’re officially committed to that agency. After our homestudy and the next payment installment, we will be waiting for that call.
I had a terrible dream last night that we for some reason gave up on the newborn idea and instead adopted a toddler from the Ukraine. She came home and wouldn’t come near me. She looked like she suffered from RAD (reactive attachment disorder). Her eyes were wild. She was institutionalized and wouldn’t play with Little. She screamed when I tried to go near her and would only sometimes warmly welcome Travis. It was awful. I woke up in a panic and had to remind myself, “We are adopting a NEWBORN baby.” Yikes.
3 responses to “Done and Done”
Toddlers, yes. Ukrainian toddlers, no.
I loved everything you said about Agency A. They sound very on-top of things and knowledgeable, and willing to treat the adoptive parents like real people instead of numbers on the roster.
I love all of that!
I’m sorry I had to laugh at your dream. Reminds me of when I was waiting. Granted this didn’t break my decision from foster care and I know how children “look and act”, I work in the public school system and have seen my share, but one of my ‘break my heart visuals’ is of children with bottle rot or just rotton teeth….so my dreams consisted of cute toddlers/preschoolers that when they smiled had horrible teeth and then I would cry because I wanted to fix it right away, then I had a dream that I had a preschooler and I would find him (it was always a boy…ha ha ha) hanging on the doors swinging from them going “wheeeeeee”
Love the dream stages! um NOT!
Haha, yeah, this is actually one of the first adoption-related dreams I’ve had, so I guess it marks a new phase in this process- one where I’m actually subconsciously wrapping my mind around all of this. I laugh too once I realize it’s not reality. I think it’s because I was reading a blog about a mother who adopted her children from Russia. The conditions she described of the orphanage were absolutely deplorable. It was awful. It seemed like no matter what they did, they were never presented with a healthy child. They had four failed matches by the time she brought her daughter home. They just kept lying to her about the condition of the children. How horrible. I know every path has it’s ups and downs, but I REALLY feel domestic is right for us right now.