I’m So Tired!

I just have to say- I’m exhausted!

I’m watching LB roll on his belly on top of an inflated beach ball yelling, “To Infinity and Beyond!” at the top of his lungs, thanking the Lord that he’s in the mood today to entertain himself. Because I am certainly not in that mood today.

I’m pooped. I don’t know if I mentioned it or not, but I’m taking classes right now online to try and finish my degree. Travis and I got married the same semester I earned enough hours to count as a senior. Six months later, I was pregnant with LB and hospitalized off and on for HG for more than six months. School stopped being a priority. Last summer when LB was a little more mobile, I decided to take some online courses through my university to slowly but surely plug away at that degree.

My Spring semester ends tomorrow, and it could not come soon enough. I’m spent. I decided in a moment of insanity that I could handle 2 heavy religion courses in one semester. My Christian Theology class ends tomorrow.

Exhaustion sometimes breeds moments of brilliance, but usually it breeds moments of complacency. On Tuesday, LB sat in his room screaming for his daily vitamin. “Minimin!!!” He gets 2 Disney chewable multivitamins every morning, and he loves them. We ran out, and we live in a rural area lacking anything that could legitimately be described as a drug store, so the vitamins would have to wait. Try explaining that to a 2 year old.

So I went into the pantry and pulled out a package of 100% fruit juice gummies, pulled 2 out of the package and brought it to him. His face lit up and he chewed with enthusiasm, saying “MM-mmm, minimins!” as he gobbled down what he believed was his daily shot of nutrients. Shrug. You do what you gotta do.

I keep getting emails from the homestudy agency asking how all of our paperwork is coming. Frankly, right now it’s not. I don’t want our paper collecting turtle-speed to reflect our enthusiasm for our adoption, but right now life is NUTS. I have a final due tomorrow, and Travis’s assistant director at work recently underwent quadruple bypass surgery, so he’s up to his ears trying to cover for him. Not to mention the general end-of-year craziness that comes with running a high school band.

I don’t think I’ve slept all week.

I just need to push through this week. School won’t be over for Travis for another 2 weeks, and that includes another out of town trip for the kids and a music festival for the middle schoolers…But at least I’ll be done with classes for a while. Maybe a long while. I can dive into our homestudy paperwork next week.

I hope the agency coordinator doesn’t assume we don’t have time for a homestudy, because that isn’t true…. Life is just crazy right now. I’m stressed and tired, and I’m so ready for things to slow down. At the end of everyday this week, all I can think is, “We made it through the day!” I wonder if LB thinks the same thing.

Being a stay at home mom is hard enough, but classes (with papers and tests and finals) and homestudy paperwork on top of that makes it nearly impossible. I want to focus on being a mom right now. I want to relax and not worry about deadlines or due dates (unless it’s adoption paperwork deadlines and baby due dates!)

Ok, so maybe this post was more for me than anyone else. I just needed to vent. I have a little boy to put down for a nap now. Thanks for listening.

Kat