It’s Official…

We received a call from our agency director on Tuesday evening after a very long and stressful day for me. I knew that our profile was going out to several mothers {I believe there were five} and I was a wreck waiting to hear back about them. I was praying that just ONE of them would pick us.

She called to say that we had indeed been chosen that morning by a young woman expecting a full Caucasian baby girl due on July 11th! She already has a c-section scheduled for that afternoon!

I was in disbelief, scared, worried, shocked, excited… In other words, I was an absolute mess. Completely overwhelmed. Confused. There was a lot of emotion. To be completely honest, by the time we had called all of our family, I wasn’t really excited anymore. I was terrified. As each parent or grandparent or relative got more and more excited about the idea of this baby, I started feeling more and more responsible for their happiness. I was very aware that there were a ton of people who would be devastated if this mom decides to parent when the baby is born in July. I felt that it was my fault for opening everyone up to that possible disappointment, and started regretting sharing the news.

I had a loooonnnnnnnnnnng talk with a friend of mine that night and worked through those feelings of fear and doubt and responsibility and realized that this is a time for me to be thrilled and hopeful and not terrified of what may or may not happen on July 11th. So I let myself rejoice and prepare.

Some pre-adoptive parents won’t even buy clothes for the baby they’ve been matched with out of fear of the birthmother changing her mind and not placing the baby, but I’m not that kind of pre-adoptive parent. I want to be excited right now and buy out Target, so that’s what I’m doing. I really think it’ll be okay. It won’t hurt any less or any more, so why rob myself of this joy now? We certainly did go nuts yesterday. We also stopped by our agency and signed everything we need to sign to accept our match with this mom.

We’re prayerfully preparing our home and our hearts for this baby girl. Six weeks will pass by SO quickly! I cannot wait. I’m so excited, and I know as the date gets closer and closer, that excitement will turn more and more into fear. Knowing the mom’s circumstances, I pray with all my heart that she decides to place her baby with us when she’s born. I also pray for their health and safety in the meantime.

I want to thank you all for your prayers, support, and encouragement that got us even to this point in our adoption journey. This is absolutely not over, and anything could happen at this point. We’ll still need a lot of support, prayer, and love in the coming weeks. Thank you for hanging in there with me. I appreciate it more than words can express.

We’re having a baby!!!

Kat