Adoption Update- Month 8

Back in December, right before New Years, we were presented with a possible birthmother situation and asked if we wanted our profile sent to her. We said yes. She’s healthy, no drugs, no alcohol, healthy baby, gender unknown at the time, and the birthfather was known and on board with the adoption decision. It was down to us and one other family, but she chose the other family. When the social worker called to tell me her decision, she said that the young lady really liked us, but was concerned about our cats. She has another child who has asthma, and she was concerned that if this baby ended up with asthma, our pets could make it worse.

Fast forward to now.

A week ago Travis and I prayerfully made the decision that we’re comfortable with a slightly more open adoption situation than what we’d originally said. We decided to contact our agency to let them know our new level of openness on Thursday of last week. The next day {Good Friday}, our social worker contacted us again to let us know that there was a possible situation coming up the following week with a birthmom whose family backed out of their adoption plan for personal reasons, and she was left without a match now. She’s perfectly healthy, no drugs, no alcohol, healthy babies, and she had just recently discovered that she was expecting twins! I slightly suspect this played a role in the other family changing their minds.

We said of course send our profile out and then let family and friends know that we were going to be shown again. Then yesterday my social worker called because she wanted to go over some things regarding this young lady before she sent our profile out. She said that the mom is wanting a child she previously placed for adoption to know these babies, and has a preference that the family she picks be willing to visit this other child with his adoptive family at least once a year. Our social worker was hesitant in telling me this, because she was concerned that the child lives out of state. I was worried as well. If the child lives with his adoptive family too far away, we may not be able to afford to make such a huge trip. However, it turns out he lives just 20-30 miles from my brother in law and his family. How insane is that!?

I was absolutely shocked and thrilled! I told our social worker this fact, and she said that she would certainly include a note about that in our profile for the mom. A little later, it finally dawned on me that the mom from December IS the mom we’re showing our profile to! The family she chose over us backed out after they discovered she’s expecting twins. I can’t say for sure that the discovery of twins in the reason they pulled out, but I do know for sure it means simply that they were not the parents of those babies.

When I first put two and two together and realized this was the mom who turned us down back in December, I was extremely worried and discouraged, but then I started thinking about how rare it is for adoptive parents to back out on a healthy baby situation, and how it must be an act of God. It can’t be a coincidence that she’s viewing our profile again. We haven’t had any possible situations {that we know of} since this one back in December, and that can’t just be a coincidence either. This is our first possible situation in three months and it’s with this same young lady again!

Yesterday I felt very strongly that God was saying to pray with all my might and rally all of the friends and family I possibly could to pray with us and for us. We had our church praying, our friends, our family, and total strangers who I will never know about just covering this situation and this mom in prayer yesterday. I know today there are dozens of people out there who continue to lift us and her up in prayer, and I’m so grateful for that.

When I woke up this morning, I felt like God was telling my heart, “Ok, yesterday I called you to prayer, and today I call you to be still in my Spirit and know that I am God and I will make my name exalted among the nations and all the earth. Just sit back and watch me work.” Travis and I have always felt very strongly that our adoption story will not just be a neat tale about how we came to be a complete family, but it would also be an incredibly testimony to the wonderful power of a God who loves his children.

God is working behind the scenes in ways we can’t even comprehend to bring us to our baby {or babies!}, and we are called only to be faithful. I have to admit though, I’m really struggling with fear today that this mom won’t pick us again. I’m terrified that despite all of these connections we see and the peace we feel from the Lord, she may still choose a different family just like she did before. But I have to trust that the same Lord who opened the heart of Saul can open the heart of this young woman and lead her to the right family {even if that isn’t us} for her babies.

For anyone out there reading this, we would love your prayers right now. Prayers for peace {because I’m kind of a basket case} and prayers that God’s will is done. Of course I’m praying that she picks us, but I also pray that if she doesn’t, the Lord will give us peace. I will be satisfied in the Lord regardless of the outcome of this situation, and I know he only wants the best for us and those babies. I just pray we know something soon.

Thank you for your continued love and support in this process.





Filed under Adoption General, Faith and Adoption, Personal Posts

7 responses to “Adoption Update- Month 8

  1. Praying for you friend. Knowing God is in complete control of this situation, no matter the outcome. Those words are easier to type and say than they are to live out, so praying God give you the ability to truly rest in Him today. Love you guys!

    • Thank you, Meghan. I can really feel everyone’s prayers today, and they are so badly needed. I am really trying to just stay prayerful and keep reading God’s Word for encouragement and hope that his will is best, and he will not let us be discouraged by the outcome of this situation- even if it isn’t what our hearts are hoping for. It’s so hard to pray “your will be done” when you have your own agenda, but I know I don’t want anything that isn’t in God’s will for us, so I do mean that. Waiting and wondering sure is terrible, but God is in control. I’m blessed by your friendship. Thanks for your support and encouragement 🙂

  2. Came across your blog while searching for other adoptive families like our own. Would be honored to lift you up in prayer!!

  3. Cimarron

    My aunt and uncle adopted a little boy seven years ago. I was talking to her about you this weekend-asking questions about their experience and such. She was so encouraging and compassionate for what y’all are going through. They had a situation where they had less than 24hrs to prepare for a newborn and it fell through at the last minute and the birth mom chose someone else. It’s not an experience for the faint of heart. Their family is praying for y’all as are we. Keep the updates coming.

    • Cim, I needed this so so much this morning. Thank you for letting me know that not only are you thinking about us and praying for us, but you’re sharing our situation with other believers who are also praying for us. I so needed to hear this today. You’re so sweet, and I’m thankful for your aunt and uncle’s empathy.

  4. Pingback: Love Makes A Family

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