Category Archives: Adoption General

Moving Forward

I really wanted to write a post about how to grieve and move forward after a failed match. It’s hard to do so because I really am still hurting. Honestly though, sometimes it’s hard to tell why I’m still hurting. Do I mourn the loss of the baby girl I thought was going to be ours? Do I mourn the fact that we are a waiting family again? Am I frustrated that we have to go back into the pool of hopeful adoptive parents and yet again wait for that call? Am I hurting because we’re fast approaching the one year point in our wait and there is a part of me that’s scared that we might never be matched? Perhaps it’s all of the above. It kind of varies from moment to moment to be honest with you. Continue reading

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When a Match Fails

We received the call yesterday morning that our match has failed. Our birthmother decided out of the blue that she wanted the family who adopted her son a year or two ago to also adopt this baby she is carrying, so she no longer wished to be matched with us or to work with our agency. It caught the caseworker off guard and definitely shocked us. Continue reading

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Reflections on Being Matched

I think many adoptive families {including me} look to the matching stage as the final stage in the adoption process. We wait all this time, some longer than others, and when we’re finally matched, we celebrate and let out a sigh of relief. But that feeling of relief does not last long. I honestly thought once we were matched, the anxiousness would subside because at least the next step would be illuminated for us. But the matching process brings about a whole new set of anxieties and worries. Continue reading

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It’s Official…

We received a call from our agency director on Tuesday evening after a very long and stressful day for me. I knew that our profile was going out to several mothers {I believe there were five} and I was a wreck waiting to hear back about them. I was praying that just ONE of them would pick us. Continue reading

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Save the Adoption Tax Credit

One way that adoption is affordable to many families is through the adoption tax credit. This tax credit provides a refund to families who provide proof of a finalized adoption on their taxes up to the amount of $12,650. Families can then take this refund and pay off any debts that they took out to pay for their adoption fees and costs. This adoption tax credit is our lifeline. But it’s being threatened. Continue reading

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We Finally Got An Answer

I feel so guilty about not writing in a while. It’s been a crazy few weeks. I wish I could say that we got the call that she has picked us and we’re planning on bringing home two baby girls in a few months. But unfortunately I don’t have any such news to report. Continue reading

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I Set My Eyes on What is Unseen

Over the weekend, I was exhausted. I was tired of praying, tired of waiting, tired of wondering, and tired of jumping at every little beep and ring from my phone. Every time I started to pray on Saturday, I’d stop and fall silent. I just wasn’t feeling it. I wasn’t feeling the urge to pray, and I was too tired to try. At first I felt guilty and worried that if I wasn’t praying, then perhaps that either meant God wasn’t going to fulfill the desires of our heart, or that I’d given up hope. I did not want to be in a hopeless place just because it was taking a little longer for an answer than I wanted. That’s a terrible representation of faith. Continue reading

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We’re Still Hanging In Here…

I wish I had something new and exciting to report, but unfortunately we still don’t know anything. Travis contacted our social worker yesterday to ask her if she thought we might have an answer by this weekend, but she said the young lady is still carefully reviewing all of the profiles and probably won’t make a decision until Monday or Tuesday. Not what we wanted to hear, of course, but at least we can relax for the weekend. Continue reading

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Lessons I’ve Learned During the Wait

Let me first say, we don’t know anything yet. Our sweet family and friends and church family are on pins and needles to hear from us about this situation, but we still don’t know yet. She didn’t pick up the profile books until Friday because she was staying with a friend all week. My social worker said she would call her over the weekend to see that she did get the books and to check if she’d started going through them yet. I have no idea if that call happened or not, or how it went. Continue reading

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Adoption Update- Month 8

Back in December, right before New Years, we were presented with a possible birthmother situation and asked if we wanted our profile sent to her. We said yes. She’s healthy, no drugs, no alcohol, healthy baby, gender unknown at the time, and the birthfather was known and on board with the adoption decision. It was down to us and one other family, but she chose the other family. When the social worker called to tell me her decision, she said that the young lady really liked us, but was concerned about our cats. She has another child who has asthma, and she was concerned that if this baby ended up with asthma, our pets could make it worse. Continue reading

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