Photo by Katie Woody Photography.
My son will be four years old in just a few weeks. I really can’t believe how fast time has flown by. It seems like yesterday he was a tiny baby. And believe me when I say he was a TINY baby.
I look at him now and I still see my baby. He still struggles to say his L’s. He’s not using the potty standing up yet. He still asks for me to help him fall asleep at nap time by patting his back until he’s out. Elmo is still his best friend. He sleeps with a night light and gets scared by the gurgling sounds of the humidifier. His heart breaks when he thinks daddy forgot to tell him good bye in the mornings before work. In all these precious little ways, he’s still my baby. He’s still learning. He still holds my hand when we walk, still asks to be carried when he’s too tired to. He’s excited by little things like play dates with friends, fresh snowfall, and an impromptu pizza lunch on a cold February day. Continue reading
Our first court hearing for baby girl happens tomorrow afternoon. All weekend long I dreaded Tuesday with a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I tried my hardest not to think of it, but I couldn’t avoid the fear that came with any reminder of what’s going to happen on Tuesday. Continue reading
I have been waiting all week to post this!
I’m sorry it’s been so long! Can I share with you the boring details of why I haven’t blogged? …Nah, I’ll spare you. But on a positive note, I’m graduating in December with my bachelor’s degree in English!!!! All just a couple of years away from the big 3-0! WIN!
But Buggy and I have been having fun in between my classwork. For one thing, we played this fun game:
I’ve been waiting to make this announcement until we were certain this was the route we were going, and I’m finally ready to make it official… Continue reading
I really wanted to write a post about how to grieve and move forward after a failed match. It’s hard to do so because I really am still hurting. Honestly though, sometimes it’s hard to tell why I’m still hurting. Do I mourn the loss of the baby girl I thought was going to be ours? Do I mourn the fact that we are a waiting family again? Am I frustrated that we have to go back into the pool of hopeful adoptive parents and yet again wait for that call? Am I hurting because we’re fast approaching the one year point in our wait and there is a part of me that’s scared that we might never be matched? Perhaps it’s all of the above. It kind of varies from moment to moment to be honest with you. Continue reading
We received the call yesterday morning that our match has failed. Our birthmother decided out of the blue that she wanted the family who adopted her son a year or two ago to also adopt this baby she is carrying, so she no longer wished to be matched with us or to work with our agency. It caught the caseworker off guard and definitely shocked us. Continue reading